Ya Know......

I was thinking today and I realized that for Carmi, everything revolves around her. She's always talking about her self, changing the subject to something about herself or I don't know, she just always talk about herself. I mean yeah a person knows best about themselves, usually, but you don't have to talk about yourself 24/7. I might, but I don't try to and if I find that I'm talking about myself a lot I try to tone it down a notch. I just don't know. I'm trying to write a little bit more in here but I don't know what to add on....... And, when Carmi isn't talking about herself she picking out her peers faults. I'm beginning to wonder what she says behind my back........

Oh, Thanks.

So I found out that when Carmi asked out Bryan for me, she was hoping he would say no. Thanks a bunch Carmi. Really appreciate it. I'm not in a good mood, but being able to talk it out with someone, Cory, has made it so that I'm not on the verge of crying anymore. It's really bugging me about whether or not Bryan has feelings for Carmi and its really making me angry. I don't want to ask them cause I'm afraid of what the reaction will be if I'm wrong and I'm afraid to be right. I don't know what to do but keep to myself and hope it passes away even though in the process my emotions are being stretched to such a limit I'm getting meanish and quieter. I'm losing myself, in a way.

Must You Quote Me?

A while ago my friends took my word buttmunch and it got on my nerves because it was stupid while I was using it, but when they use it, its like sooo "cool". That's what got on my nerves because I feel like I never get recogniction for things I do. I'm noticing it now because I don't know, but in American history they basically leave me to do all of the work while they just sit there having a good time. Then, I start using these words that no one has used in like forever and when I start using them I get looked at like I'm a fricking five year old. Then like a month later they start using the word I had been using and its like the new "trend". I hate it. Am I being the trend setter or what? I don't like it, obviously, but I would if I was recognized as the trend setter. Now just cause one time I freaked out cause they were using my words and getting recognized, that everytime they say one of "my" words they say sorry to me and I'm taking a hole lot of offense to that as if they are saying it in a mocking, sarcastic way! I mean, I dunno, it's just really annoying because I start something and I get looked at like I'm crazy and then they start doing it like its the "thing" to do. Another thing I don't like that ties in with this is being thought of as stupid. I feel like I've totally changed since last year, like I'm the group clown that no one takes seriously and I'm not liking it. I don't like being called stupid, only when I say it to myself, its never fun to be called stupid. I wias I could be serious with my group of friends and tell this to all of them, but I don't know exactly how many of them would take me seriously. I want to be serious in my group, but that wont happen. I tell carmi I got hurt and you can tell from my tone of voice that I'm not real happy about it and she'll laugh. That's annoying. I'm beginning to wonder what it's like to be an outcast.

"Group" Project

Another thing that has made me mad, except, this happened a little while ago. In American History class we had to take a section out of the text book and create a script and perform it. My group had Anna, Dalton, and Andy in it. The first day I'm trying to do stuff and trying to get their opinions about stuff and everytime I mentioned Andy being George Washington he stood up as if he was getting a standing oviation with his hand on his chest and the rest of the time he was asking me continuesly, "Should I make a speech?" Everytime I told him if he could come up with one, or if he wants to he could. Then Dalton was pulling out pieces of Anna's hair and cutting with scissors so that it was in pieces about a centimeter long. The only one that really did any work was me. They were constantly off task doing stupid mindless things. It got on my nerves and the only thing Anna did was make a few decisions I asked her and the only thing Dalton did was make signs to the adduience telling them to applaud, be quiet and be loud. Andy, I don't think he did anything. Then I ask Anna if she thinks everyone did a fair amount of work and she says yes. So at that point I ask her who did what and I think she might of realized then that our group didn't do a fair amount of work. We go up to do our play and first the teacher asks us if we did a fair amount of work and we were all silent for at least two minutes and some people in our group (I believe Andy and Dalton) said that we did while I'm not sure what Anna said, but I said no and then I dunno what the other questions were. Oh, one was if the group stayed on task and once again some people said yes when they didn't and others, maybe just me, said no. Then we got a 35/40 for the grade and Anna thinks I was upset because we got a bad grade, I thought it was an okay grade, it wasnt horrible its like a B and thats okay with me. What I was mad about was that the group left basically all of the work to me and apparently didnt even notice that they had done that, or they did and didnt want to admit to it. Then, after that class was lunch and Anna and I were at my locker and Bryan came by and I still wasn't so happy so Anna tells him that I was upset because our group got a bad grade. WRONG! Bryan tried comforting me though, by saying that he gets tons of bad grades so hes used to it. Okay, well that's the end of that complaint, thanks for letting me tell you. Bye.

Annoyed

This is gonna be my first post in my new blog (one of three) so first I would like to say hi! This is gonna be my blog of all the complaints I have, I need this blog because I want to be able to get my feelings out with out annoying anyone and without hurting myself (mentally, I could never physically hurt myself). I'm a Taurus, It tend to hold my feelings in, and not on purpose, only because I'm afraid my feelings will annoy someone and then I'll lose a friend. I don't want that to happen, just to make that clear right now. I started this blog because one thing right now is bugging me and I can't post it in the other two of my blogs. Carmi is getting on my nerves. I might be over-reacting, but its bugging me and so, before I explode and get someone mad at me, I will clear my mind of it by letting it out all in here.
Anyways, once again, as I said before, Carmi is bugging me. She's flirting with Bryan, I know she likes him, but she doesn't need to show it. She went out with him once for like a week and she acts like he still likes her. I mean it was basically a mutual decision between the two. I know, I'm sounding like I think Bryan likes me and only me and only has, but no, I know that's not true. She might just be calling Bryan to annoy Jon because Jon has been calling Anna and I lately, but you shouldn't fight fire with fire. Work it out between the two of you, don't make it worse by doing the things to Jon that are annoying you when he does them! Jon only calls me when he needs to vent about the things Carmi does to annoy him and then he does them to her and she does it right back to him. Carmi is so mean to Jon and Jon is so obsessed with Carmi. While I'm venting..... Carmi is always exaggerating pain. She gets hurt, or gets a headache and she thinks no one has gone through the same pain and she thinks she has like the worst of it ever. SUCK IT UP CARMI! I fell down a hill snowboarding doing a few front flips, landing on my back, and scraping my forehead. It hurt and I was on the verge of crying, but I sucked it up and made fun of myself. You get hit and think you can't use your arm for the rest of the day, suck it up!
I'm done complaining and venting, get ready for more complaints in the future, I will have many, I'm a perfectionist. Heck, I might even have complaints about myself, which when I do, I exaggerate to such and extent and make myself feel so bad about myself for hating something about me, that I begin to cry, even for doing that, it makes me feel bad. Okay, well, I'm gonna go, Bye!!

My Other Blogs:

www.angelfire.com/crazy3/tina0/blog

www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=FashionPirate